Do you have any advice on where I can find older women and how I can date them?
I'm 24 years old and frequently approach older women (40-55) at grocery stores. The responses are always the same, "Why would you want to go out with someone as old as me?"
Or, "That's cute but you're too young."
I genuinely find older women attractive and like them for their calm and serious nature. Whenever I approach them I say, "Hey, would you like to go out sometime?" and I'm not having any luck.
Can you help me figure out what I'm doing wrong here?
There was a quote I recently saw on Instagram that read something along the lines of:
"Men don't settle where they find beauty, they settle where they find peace."
There's a real ring of truth to this regardless of a woman's age. You're seeking calm and peaceful energy, and many older women inarguably have it by leaps and bounds.
I'm in that age range myself and I can assure you I'm as unfussy as I am mentally and emotionally composed as any older woman could be. The fact is, as long as we've lead fulfilling lives, we are happy. Happy with the world, with ourselves and happy to be of service to the people who love us whom we give our all.
What stuck out most to me is that you know specifically what type of older woman you want–the mature/matriarch type who is delighted with herself and radiates old lady pleasantness and contentment.
And it's evident in that they confess pridefully to you without hesitation, "Look here sonny, this is sweet and flattering and all, but I'm too old for you."
You're not searching for MILFs clumsily boiling over their teenage daughter's hot pants and tube tops desperately trying to attract attention from any man who'd even bother to look their way. You're noticing mature women who have led a full life–and their tranquil energy is infectious and irresistible to you.
Is this a fetish?
Do you have mommy issues?
I can't know that for sure, but I can tell you it's more likely a simple phase that many young men go through. In 10 years, if you still feel the same about older gals while refusing to date women your own age or younger, it may be a proclivity that's exclusive to you. Only time will tell.
What's more is that you aren't afraid to ask. That means you seek adventure the way any young man should. It means you're crossing that proverbial male developmental path or "rite of passage" where a young man wants the full menu of experiences.
An older woman can teach a young man a lot of things about himself. For instance, help him understand what it's like to really get along with a woman who isn't judging him negatively nor is she lording any expectations over him. She just appreciates who he is as a young man.
There's a deep sense of comfort in this aspect–a woman who can be fully present and enjoy the moment with a man without angst nor any hangups knowing that really, she's only along for the ride in this short phase of a young man's life.
That doesn't make you strange, it makes you sane. You desire real feminine energy. She may be old but let's face it, it's rare to find raw feminine energy in any form in most of today's young women otherwise I'm certain you'd be dating them with equal enthusiasm.
Another problem is, there's something that's sorely lacking in Western culture particular to the United States–the celebration and appreciation of female sophistication (or any type of sophistication for that matter but that's a whole other subject for another time).
In many parts of Europe, France in particular, women age like anyone else but they adopt a very sophisticated flavor of it. And incidentally, they still have cultural relevance and lead fantastic love lives. L'amour!
These women date and have fun with all types men, who in tandem, appreciate this ripened worldly sophistication and don't frown on a woman's age. They don't have a "women hit the wall" cultural paradigm in France as we do in the US.
Women there aren't fearful of aging, they embrace it. They take very good care of themselves, make it a priority to remain attractive and put much effort into dressing chic while being age-appropriate. And they live life to the fullest.
You'll be hard-pressed to find that here in the US. Women don't grow into their own skin and love themselves for getting old and develop into a mature role–they wear PINK-label string bikinis until they're 65 while catching cringe looks from strangers who are deeply embarrassed for them.
Also, you're not going to have an easy time of it finding a mature woman who's matriarch-type feminine who's going to want a man your age. We just aren't attracted to them. You look like kids to those of us who have aged quite comfortably and are no longer interested in chasing thrill-seeking rainbows and making a go of superficialities for ego's sake.
So where can you find older women?
Go to Europe. The Mediterranean, specifically. You're still very young and adventure awaits you. And there's millions of older women there who fit this regal, advanced archetype of a woman who will help you get these wiggles out of your system.
I applaud you for having the courage to know what you want and to take a chance in pursuing older, mature, sophisticated women with your level of determination. You have the confidence. Maybe now's the time for you to make yourself seen and L'amour!
Love and Many Blessings,
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