Why Are So Many Men Becoming Less Masculine?

A reader wrote in this week on my Instagram Q&A with the following question:

"Why does it seem like the more masculinity is discussed/talked about, the less masculine men become? What I mean is, my father's generation and older never sat around discussing what is or isn't masculine. Where did the disconnect happen?"

This is a very good (and valid) question and there are many reasons why the more masculinity is brought into modern discourse, the more it seems to be "not helping" or appears to be making issues surrounding masculinity even worse.

First, masculinity (in tandem with femininity) has been on the decline for the last 30+ years with food additives, estrogens in our environment, and masculine behavior being discouraged, demonized, medicated and conditioned away among young boys. Many modern men were medicated in school and were told they have ADHD and their parents agreed to put them on prescription drugs.

This is a far different social environment than the era in which your father and myself were raised for both boys and girls. Masculinity flourished in the "olden days" because boys were allowed to be boys. No overly controlling adults, mystery pills or environmental hazards seemed to interfere with normal and healthy male development.

Second, a lot of online masculinity larpers who are weird, unattractive, deranged, effeminate and have mental health issues, and perform terribly with women, have carefully crafted frivolous online personas in today's exclusively male spaces - where they promote anti-masculine tropes that stem from grave irrationality, passivity, fear and cowardice.

Any man who does well with women isn't afraid of women.

He doesn't have his guard up in constant, unreasonable paranoia to avoid getting hurt by women.

He doesn't have any issues connecting with women.

He doesn't harbor any illusions about women being different from men.

Many online "gurus" have deep-seated issues with all of the above - and they spread their destructive and nihilistic ideas far and wide among legions of other susceptible men. Men who too are searching for masculine male role models and want solutions to their male problems with women.

Hence, why it seems masculinity is "dying." Men are in dire need of masculine male role models and men who could fit the role of being a solid masculine example for men won't be found in any "masculine" niches online.

These men tend to be married and have children and are concerned with making a living and supporting their families. Whereas, in online sects such as the manosphere, the red pill and other masculinity niches, the gurus are often single (and some of them are really old too) and have no promising dating prospects.

Lastly, your father's generation (and mine and older) didn't speak about these things because involved fathers modeled masculine behaviors for their sons. American culture was also pro-masculine. Back when I was growing up, having an active and involved father in the home was the norm.

Every family on my block had a mother who stayed home and a father who worked. As did all my friends at school. With Dad around, kids didn't have to venture far outside the home for a strong male role model who could demonstrate masculine social mores and positive male behavior.

The good news is, I have a TON of resources for men to help them find that masculine edge within themselves and restore it and replenish it. I've helped men, who believed they didn't stand a chance with women in today's dating environment, find long-term relationships leading to marriage.

Much of the time, it's simply allowing a man's natural male instincts to shine through. Every man is born with these instincts and can tap into them and use them to their advantage and cease having issues with women. They just need real guidance, a safer environment to express themselves, and the right circumstances to find that edge.

And while I feel wonderful and truly honored that I can help men in this capacity, they shouldn't need a woman like me to help them. They should be able to locate other men who can get the job done. They could find these men around every corner back in the olden days when masculinity was not in short supply, where we honored and celebrated manhood throughout our culture.

I'm doing my part to help raise the bar. And again, I have a ton of resources here to assist any man who wants to learn about women and be masculine (NOT be some embarrassing caricature of masculinity from online effete gurus).

If you're a man, you must remain vigilant against the wimpy, cringy, phony, online larpers who couldn't get laid in a whorehouse. They spread their effeminate poison that derives from unresolved fear, animosity, anger and a whole slew of other maladaptive ideas that only serve to make men that much more helpless, lonely and miserable.

A man who hates women is terrible with women. Period. Use that as your inner compass in finding out the truth about any man of whom you are seeking male guidance.

There are many wolves out there in sheep's clothing among us. Their ideas are harmful, dangerous and irresponsible. My ideas aren't. I may be a woman, but like your dad, I have my head on straight. Look for this in the people of whom you want to be your mentors. Always strive to find someone who is sensible and makes you feel good with a clean conscience about your choices as a man...

Love and Many Blessings,

Jenny

Questions or comments on this column? Have an advice question you'd like answered:

Write me: lovepilledjenny@gmail.com