I created a new broadcast channel on my Instagram page called "Masculinity & Femininity Real Talk" (the link is in my IG bio if you would like to stop by and join) where today I shared a couple of controversial posts on masculine men we're going to pick apart below.
Then I followed up with a post about a masculine man who is the prime example of what I call a "doer, mover and problem solver."
Let's begin by taking a closer look at what I posted initially on my broadcast page...
Pretty straightforward. Any man who has any sufficient level of testosterone operating through his system in high functioning order will lean towards this sentiment more than he will away from it.
Then one of my mods from our private Reddit relationship group sent me this post (right on time):
One thing that really stuck out to me is that she describes him as "frightening" and says it's like living with a "force of nature."
Indeed, because that's precisely what a masculine man is. A traditional, masculine man IS a force of nature. One that many modern women today can't reckon with.
I've mentioned numerous times before that in my upbringing, I was surrounded by these men. Men who were so incredibly masculine, it was like a jolt to the system. Like going to the electric chair and being metaphorically zapped and devastated by them.
That's precisely what this woman is experiencing being in the presence of this man. She now has a "frightening" and uncharted glimpse into how masculine men truly think, how they live and how they govern their lives.
It's no mystery that women today don't understand masculine men (equally if not more so) as much as men don't understand women.
Modern women are used to simpy men who will bicker with them and argue with them, who will lay around the house with them and play patty cake.
It's no wonder she's scared of him. Spending her entire life around men who act like chicks presents no challenge to women at all. Any woman can handle a simp, what they can't handle is a real man.
I further added this commentary to the broadcast post:
It's true. As I said, people deem it "toxic masculinity" when a man has the nerve (and verve) to be a man. And the women who would love to date and possibly marry these men have no clue, no self-awareness and no humility in the fact that they cannot and will not be able to emasculate (control) these men.
And they get dumped by them. Always. And often brutally.
Newsflash: It Doesn't Even OCCUR to Masculine Men to Want to Talk About Their Feelings
Here's something you might not realize but to masculine men, it doesn't even occur to them to sit around and bitch and moan and whine about their problems and their feelings. Especially not to women.
In the mind of a masculine man, he believes, "Alright, whatever this is I'm dealing with, it feels like shit. And I'm going to do something about it."
HE is going to do something about it, not you.
He is not going to run to a woman to solve his problems expecting her to be his mommy.
He's not going to lay in bed every night and cry himself to sleep.
He is not going to watch soap operas and drink dandelion tea.
He's going to get up off his laurels and get to work on what needs to get done.
Masculine men are doers, not talkers. And women who expect men to express their feelings and emotions verbally while sitting around having hug sessions simply don't understand nor respect masculine men's ability to process their own feelings and emotions by doing, moving and problem solving.
When They Do Share Their Feelings They Will Only Give You a Tiny Glimpse So Learn to Respect That and Stop Demanding and Expecting More
Every masculine guy I've ever dated (and they were all masculine back in the good old days) only ever bestowed me with small but mighty "leaving me breathless" flashes of what he was feeling in expressing deep emotions for me.
We had brief, meaningful but hair-raising moments. Where he would look me in the eyes and say, "I love you, baby," and give me a passionate kiss that would turn my knees to putty.
Then he'd flash a sexy smile as he's getting back on the muddy old dirt bike and fishtail off into the sunset after spending the day with me.
Lo and behold I'd get a call from him a couple days later with him reiterating our kiss. How it stopped his heart.
Maybe he would reminisce about my jeans and how great they looked on me. Then he'd remind me to hold onto his racing sweatshirt that I slept in bed with every night with his scent all over it so I would always be thinking of him.
Let me ask you ladies, what more do you want here? How much more emotion does a man have to express to you?
It's never about what a man says, it's always about what he does. I'm forever regurgitating that as well to no avail. Masculine men are doers, movers and problem solvers. They are purely action-oriented. That's how they plot their entire existence when it comes to all things, including women.
How Then Will a Masculine Man Open Up and Express His Feelings?
Here's how a masculine man will open up to you and express his feelings:
They have feelings and they are not closed off from them...
Once more, I get it. The vast majority of women don't understand masculine men because they are wholly surrounded by emasculated, effeminate men who act like women. Men who will go with them to get their feet done and watch reality TV shows and talk about their feefees.
No masculine man on earth is going to do any of that with you. And you must reach him in other ways (this blog is chock full of tips on how to accomplish it) so that he will do more, show up more and give you the emotional intimacy you desire from him.
And this is precisely what the woman in the above Reddit post said verbatim.
"I'm not like that, I like to bake cookies with my girlfriends," expecting that powerhouse of a masculine man she lives with to do the same. Nor will she respect nor honor him for being a man who WON'T do the same.
Ladies, your first order of business is to accept that masculine men are fundamentally different from you. They are not neutered simps and you have to stop expecting them to be emotional like women.
So long as he is showing up consistently, is putting in effort, has you at the top of his priority list and makes it known to you that he loves and cares about you, you are golden.
If he is not doing any of this for you, he's plain not invested in you and he is not interested. And no amount of cajoling, manipulating, demanding or coercing him to "express his feelings" is going to work.
Love and Many Blessings,
Questions or comments on this column? Have an advice question you'd like answered?
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