This week's post for Evie Magazine is very significant in that women must understand that certain men today just plain aren't willing to marry. And very often, a transactional relationship is based on a man withholding commitment while still seeking all the perks and benefits of having a wife.
Ladies, if you want a man to commit to you, you must make that clear to him from the start. This will help you weed out the men who are intent on wasting your better years and you will be able to freely move on in finding another man who is suitable for marriage.
You can't hook up and ask questions later. You can't move in and ask questions later. You can't put any stock in him saying "maybe" when you broach the subject of commitment and ask questions later.
Rule numero uno: If he does not talk about marriage with you within the first year, he very likely has no plans to marry you.
If marriage and children are important to you, you must be able to ask those hard questions and accept the truth. And make sure you steer clear of any relationship where you're giving a lot more as a woman than you're receiving from a man–especially commitment.
And above all, stop listening to the red pill insisting that a woman must cook and clean and play roommate before marriage. They are lying to you and they know it.
Be honest with yourself and be honest about your relationship. If he doesn't want to commit to you, there's another man who will. You're a woman. You have lots of options.
There’s a widespread problem in today’s dating landscape where many women are finding themselves neck-deep in transactional relationships.
A transactional relationship is inherently self-serving and self-motivated, where one party deems themselves to be superior and entitled to another person’s efforts and investment for little to nothing in return in terms of growth, trust, and loyalty.
Can any relationship survive on a transactional basis where the “unspoken contract” implies that the other person is “convenient for now” and is, therefore, expendable?
Transactional vs Transformative
There are two types of relationships: transactional and transformative. A transactional relationship is focused on self-serving interests where a person asks, “What are you going to do for me and what will I get out of it?”
A transformative relationship is centered around both people asking, “How can we help each other and achieve our goals and dreams together for the betterment of us both?”
A transactional relationship provides no safety, comfort, or reassurance where the injured party is balancing a tight rope of insecurity and precariousness. Failures and mistakes are some of the fastest ways to determine if a relationship is transactional or transformational. If transactional, then there isn’t much room for conflict, messiness, mistakes, etc., because the relationship doesn’t have a foundation of loyalty, trust, and protection.
Visit the following link to view the rest of the article:
Love and Many Blessings,
Questions or comments on this column? Have an advice question you'd like answered?
Write me: email@example.com