Yikes. This is NOT what women want to hear. Especially the pickmes who think a man is going to slip through their fingers like a stick of soapy butter if she doesn't kiss his butt and go happily along with everything he says and does, always.
If you've been a pickme with the same uncommitted man for years, it's going to be an impossible feat to work your way out of the disrespectful mess you're in. It's like feeding a bear, once they get a taste of that free trash, they don't just up and relinquish their taste for it and go back to hunting for fish. It leaves a lasting imprint on the bear's brain to prefer and demand the trash.
And the longer the pickme behavior goes on, the more he'll refuse to change. That's why if you're hoping to get in a serious relationship with a high value man, you will have to have clear and delineated boundaries from the outset of courtship.