Q&A - How Can I Not Lose My Mind Around Chad?

"Look, I completely understand this is how women feel and this is how they knee jerk react because Chad kickstarts our most primal urges. As you said, it makes you feel ALIVE."

How can I not lose my mind around chad


Dear Jenny,

Your columns are wonderful. I did have a question on "high value man shit tests" and being a "Chad/a high testosterone man's enemy before you can be the woman of his dreams,' and how we need to stand our ground if that is the type of man we want.

I'd like to know more on how to recover with one of them, or if in the future you yourself gave in to some of Chad's shit tests and didn't go against the grain as an example. Or you can publish more articles on this type of guy and provide us with more insights into what drives him.

There's a lot to be attracted to with these men and it makes me feel ALIVE. Growing up I didn't see many of these type of men hence why I don't have the experience with them thus your advice concerning them really helps.


Girl Who Adores Chads


Dear GWAC,

It's funny that earlier this week I had a young lady write me concerning this exact dilemma. She met a Chad on a dating app and immediately began swooning (and struggling a bit)–and it didn't go over so well.

She said to me, "I've now changed. I finally came across a man I find desirable and I don't want to go back to dumpy guys with only a 'nice personality."

She also mentioned said Chad unmatched her when he asked her what she was looking for in a potential connection and she felt the need to confess, "I want marriage, children and the white picket fence."

Look, I completely understand this is how women feel and this is how they knee jerk react because Chad kickstarts our most primal urges. As you said, it makes you feel ALIVE.

It (especially) ignites the urge women have to throw themselves at Chad's feet because they can't resist and they can't contain themselves.

The question is, does this approach ever work?

No, it does not. And no, it will never work.

You must realize these men have seen, heard and done it all. All of it. They have 78 women at any given moment stalking them telling them they want to marry them.

And they also tend think of this dynamic along the same lines of any 10/10 woman getting unwanted attention from cringesimps–it manifests itself in a deep level of predicability, contempt, suspicion, cringe, loathsomeness and boredom.

I actually feel sorry for these guys because they quite literally have to go through dusting hundreds if not thousands of women who act like this. And when confronted with it, they immediately regress and default to, "Oh look, another one of these chicks. NOPE."

And alas, the very same issue has presented itself among the both of you young, pretty gals–lack of exposure and experience in dealing with Chad. And the truth is, for any girl, you will have to become immune to Chad's irresistible charm and realize he's just a man like any other man beneath his dreamy exterior.

Indeed, Chad is a hyper-stimulus of sorts. The way he looks, speaks, his gesturing, how cool he is, and very often, his air of unshakable confidence with women feels lethal in even the smallest doses.

So how do you handle a man like this? And how can you recover from screwing up with one?

Well frankly, I'm going to be honest with you especially concerning the latter:

You can never recover from screwing up with a man like Chad. They don't give any second chances especially considering they barely if ever dole out any firsts. You witnessed that in the above example–immediately unmatched at the slightest insinuation towards marriage and children.

There's a very precise (and delicate) art in dealing with Chad. I have a highlight on my Instagram page entitled "Dating Chads" that gives you a general idea of what you're up against.

The big question remains: Can you handle a man like this? And can you answer with a straight face and 100% certainty that you can? My guess is, you likely can't.

Do you have the required unyielding strength and spiritual courage it's going to take to face him and be unaffected by his appeal and deadly persuasion?

Can you suffer through many consecutive and suspenseful (and quite frankly, painful) days and nights of playing everything just right in order to get him to trust you enough to fall in love with you?

Can you treat him like a man? Like you could any man who has real feelings and aspirations, who has his own set of unique problems like everyone else?

Because that's what it's going to take. And virtually zero of any the shoddy anti-game techniques taken up by the vast majority of Western women today are going to work.

Sleeping with him right away isn't going to work.

Telling him you want to marry him and have his babies right away isn't going to work.

Acting like a squealing fangirl and doing cartwheels and somersaults in his face to "impress" him and get his attention isn't going to work.

And surprise, neither will kissing his ass, baking him pies and driving 100 miles across 3 counties to deliver them to him in the cold and rain.

So what do you need here?

Maturity. Grace. Self-awareness. Unflinching discipline. Passivity. A highly calculated and altruistic approach–one that will allow you to see that he too has flaws, isn't perfect and wants to be loved and valued for who he is as a man like any other man.

You will need every ounce of femininity that can be mustered between 1,000 women. Remember, he's seen 1,000+ women and remains unimpressed by and uncommitted to all of them.

It would be politically correct and very simple for me to say that you and virtually any woman reading this can have Chad. If that were true, you wouldn't be writing to me on how to accomplish it.

Maybe you can. However, it's going to take feminine power beyond anything you've ever summoned or imagined–accompanying a level of emotional torture that really can only be endured and realized on a spiritual level.

Because these men are the spiritual representation of what every woman deeply desires in a man–to want to be chosen, treasured and loved by a man like Chad is a spiritual journey in itself unlike any other.

I wish I had a simple formula to give you. I don't–it takes much time, energy, planning, and spiritual pain to truly win him.

Are you truly ready to face that? I mean, truly? It's not for the fainthearted. In fact, you may just feel like you will have to die in the process.


I've always gone against the grain and I've never given in. Ever. That's the only way I was ever able to find success with Chad like any woman with the iron will to accomplish doing so.

Love and Many Blessings,


Questions or comments on this column? Have an advice question you'd like answered?

Write me: lovepilled@protonmail.com