How to Strike Up a Conversation with a Woman You Don't Really Know and What NOT to Do

Everywhere you look on social media and various online forums, you're going to come across a lot of really bad dating advice.

It's par for the course. It's so commonplace that it's like finding a needle in a haystack when you do manage to get good advice.

Hence, people like me. I make sure I don't hand out any bad dating advice to men or women. In fact, my advice works so well, I've helped countless people get married and have families.

And just so you know, I have over 350+ articles on this site that are sure to get you situated so you can bypass all this nonsense and avoid making these same costly mistakes that people are constantly making.

Also, for the ladies, I have a 3x monthly femininity coaching group where we really help you to understand men, what they want from you and to ultimately get them to fall in love with you and commit.

In fact, Martine and myself will be hosting our very first Zoom femininity coaching meeting on 11/15 with Alana, my female start client, for Part II of her real life examples in getting 4 men right after the other to fall in love with her and offer commitment after coaching with me.

This is not an exaggeration. It's simply the objective truth. Whipped: Population, Alana lol

In the meantime, we're going to help out the men here below with a real doozy. And unsurprisingly, the comments from folks who mean well are even worse.

I'm going to assist you in polishing up your approach and point out what never to do in scenarios like this and what you should do instead.

First, let's look at the following question that I found on the subreddit r/seduction:

A young gentleman asks, "How can I strike up a convo with a girl I barely know?"

So basically I just finished high school and on the last day this girl that I'd never talked to before came up to me and started talking with me. I later found out from others that she had a crush on me.

She’s pretty cute, so I wouldn’t mind getting to know her, but since school is finished we don’t see each other in person. I have her Instagram but how should I strike up a convo with her?

Okay, so he already got very clear indicators of interest from this young woman. She took it upon herself to strike up a conversation with him under the following pretenses:

• It was the last day of school and she came up and approached him likely because she knew she wasn't going to be seeing him again for awhile or possibly ever and she wanted to make sure he knew she is romantically interested in him.
• He also heard she had a crush on him through mutual friends. So for him, it's a case of a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. It's on.
• He already has her on his Instagram so again, all doors are open at this point for him to make a move.

Now, here's where it gets iffy. And very cringy. It's not him at all at this juncture, but it's the terrible advice the people in the comments are giving him.

And if he's foolish enough to follow their advice, he will lose out big time. Big time.

Now, let me just pull up some of the said godawful advice they're offering this poor, young soul...

I had a gentleman a couple weeks ago send me a screenshot of a woman's dating profile and she put on the front of her bio in big letters that she doesn't want a corny guy.

That's how big of a problem corniness with men really is. Which is evinced by the first comment in the thread shown above in all its corniness that will get you friendzoned in 5 seconds flat.

"You HAVE to try this ice cream place I went to."

I'm sorry but that sounds like a chick saying it. Read it again. The emoting, the tone, the caps, all of it. It sounds like a woman.

And feast your eyes on all the upvotes. The blind leading the blind. Off a cliff.

Stop with the corny bs. Yesterday. The guy who got downvoted that I upvoted above is spot on.

CORNY.

I posted on Instagram months ago that a lot of really dorky guys are teaching other men to be dorks with women. This entire Reddit thread a classic example of that playing out in real time.

"Oh so you're into comics." Again, friendzone stuff.

Sadly, a lot of these dorky guys seem to be looking for friendships with women. Because they think that's going to get their foot in the door.

IT WON'T. Thinking of women in terms of being friendly with them is only going to get you friendzoned and nothing else.

Also, I get that this guy is really young, but he's not a child.

I realize that comic book culture and pokemon (is that even a thing anymore) is supposed to be "cool" these days among the younger crowd.

But it's dorky. Yep, I said it.

Do people like to do any sort of adult-themed activities on dates? Have brown ales at a brew pub? Eat oysters? I mean, even miniature golf would be a huge step up from this.

Comic book shops and pokemon is not a date. It's kid stuff.

Be more focused on the outcome you actually want. You're an adult and you don't want to be her friend, do you?

Then start acting like an adult and stop acting like you're her friend.

Best way to shoot your shot for a man (if you are a legal-aged adult) is to ask, "Want to come to this spot and have a drink with me?"

If you are underage say, "Let's go for a ride on my motorcycle. It's sick af."

Quit with the dorky, kid-friendly stuff. It will get you nowhere fast.

Everyone goes on coffee dates. They go hiking too. It's as if they can't for the life of them think of anything funner or more creative or stimulating.

This man is well past the "preliminary coffee date" stage that is reserved for someone you've never met in person off a dating app.

This kind of boring stuff is standard among the masses. Doesn't mean you have to go along with it or even should go along with it. Hence if you decide to get more creative, you can really level the playing field and thrill these women.

The guys in my generation used to take us for a ride on the motorcycle, take us to watch them skate/BMX and they'd take us to bonfires.

Or they'd invite us to shoot pool and play darts. It was always a blast.

Another hot date spot was "the airplane park" where we'd watch 737s fly overhead after sundown. Powerful, moving, beautiful, interesting. Romantic too without being corny.

A client I helped earlier this year takes women line dancing and the women find it very thrilling (and seductive) because he's in the leadership role in taking them to participate in activities on his turf that they've never tried before.

Be a bit more creative and thrilling. Take her to a place with a scenic view overlooking the city that only you know about.

Everyone hikes and everyone drinks coffee for dates these days. And they walk away mystified as to why people are bored and don't want another date.

Go against the grain and think of something funner and more exciting. Dates shouldn't be run-of-the-mill. They should be memorable with a great atmosphere.

Again, with the corny stuff. Horrible.

"Do you like skittles? fjalf;thtxdduaios; smuggle in skittles movie theatre jfa;fjdkal;jgal;g :DDDD"

And for crying out loud, I kid you not, in my flirting course on texting I pointed out this EXACT scenario on what not to do. To the letter.

I quite literally said verbatim don't ever text someone a wall of text saying you want to go to the movies with a backpack on and sneak in snacks that you don't want to pay for.

You really can't make this sh*t up.

I'm dead over here lol.

And The Olive Garden breadstick thing is even worse. I'm surprised he got downvoted at all based on all their bad advice because it's quite possibly worst advice I've ever seen.

Instead of doing any this, be cool. Be laid back. Shoot your shot. Don't overcomplicate things and don't overthink.

Be direct, straightforward and get in there and make a move like a grown man to a grown woman.

"Hey, it's John from school. Remember that day you came up and introduced yourself?"

And when it comes time to ask for a date, plan something a little out of the ordinary.

"I think I'll take her to this place that has these tall exotic-themed drinks then we can go to the airplane park."

Then simply tell her, "I got this cool place we can go for a date. How about Saturday?"

Shoot your shot and see where it leads.

Strike up the conversation in a cool and laid back manner and see where it leads.

And ditch the corniness at all costs. Be smooth and confident, shoot your shot like a man, make plans and be real with these women.

That's all that's required and that's all they want.

Love and Many Blessings,

Jenny

Questions or comments on this column? Have an advice question you'd like answered?

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