I'd received a lot of flak recently for my numerous observations concerning male/female dynamics in today's dating marketplace.
I've spent the better part of the last two years observing these issues play out over and over again as a result of the hundreds, if not thousands of folks of whom I've had these unfortunate discussions surrounding these issues.
I'm noticing objective patterns with men and how they interact with women–and these aren't my biases. Again, they are based on FACT.
Notwithstanding the issue that I'm a female and I don't adhere to any red pill ideology, if I make any attempt to shine a light on these facts, I'm met with:
"You're just a feminist."
"You have no idea what it's like to be a man trying to date women these days."
"You're a woman. By default no one should listen to you because women don't even know what they want!"
And on and on.
Ad hominem aside, there are major issues plaguing millions of young men in the dating marketplace that women find unattractive–and these women are disqualifying dozens of men on the spot from any further consideration in dating, much less a serious relationship.
People keep insisting "women's standards are too high and they must settle or they'll be doomed to dying alone with 12 cats."
It's women's fault they don't want to be involved with men who spew at them unprompted, "Hello my gorgeous queen star gazer, let's blast off together on that great big romantic star gazer rocketship and go star-gazing into each others' starry eyes and land smack dab into that great big romantic galaxy for star-gazers."
Again, if any woman doesn't find any of the above nonsense appealing, her standards are way too high!
That's right, women are being shamed for not liking men who are so painfully socially awkward.
They are being told that they must choose from only one of two options:
The Chad fuccboi or the dorky star-gazer rocket ship guy. There's said to be no in-between.
And despite red pill men insisting men have to be in the top 10% of men to even be considered a viable candidate in the dating marketplace, I'm here to tell you straight:
It's not about your looks or lack thereof.
It's not about your 6-pack or lack thereof.
Most women today just want to find a well-adjusted, NORMAL guy who doesn't talk like the dork in above example. A guy who can relate to a woman as a man, who can talk like a man to a woman, who can treat a woman like a woman and doesn't address women as princesses, queeeens, or fairytale star-gazer goddesses.
Women Want Men Who Have Good Social Skills and Aren't Simps
Men who have great social skills are in great demand and they've always been in great demand. But thanks to millions of men who lack bare minimum social skills, the men who do have decent social skills are in even greater demand.
Chad seems to be the only man left on earth who has decent enough social skills to properly deal with women so therefore women only want Chads, right? Le sigh.
Women nowadays more than ever are placing a huge premium on men who:
- Don't simp and treat women like they're superior beings who need their feet washed and their rear ends kissed round-the-clock
- Can have flirty conversations with women and can provoke male/female attraction through recognizing proper social and sexual cues
- Can plan dates and make things exciting
- Has control of his emotions and doesn't act like a girl i.e. emoting, looking for a mommy/therapist, isn't looking to a woman to solve his male problems
I've had dozens upon dozens of women tell me they've ghosted good-looking guys on the spot who simped and said weird things that made them feel "the ick."
Your looks, money and physique aren't going to save you if your social skills are terrible. That's just a fact.
Women Want Men Who Are Masculine and Have Lives That Don't Revolve Around Women
Women like men who are busy. Men who have careers, hobbies and interests that they're consumed with that have nothing at all to do with women.
Part of being masculine means being very happy and content with being a man who likes doing male things that don't involve women.
A man who is busy being man is a man who has something going for him as a man.
Perhaps you like hitting the iron with your buddies 2-3 hours a day while trash-talking–and no woman is going to stand in the way of you getting out and doing that daily.
Maybe you play hockey. You like getting roughed up and you live for that roughness. Hockey is a game that women can't play. Only men can play it hence, a lot of masculine polarity.
Women can tell when a man has nothing going for him because his life revolves around being needy with women–needing validation and approval from women and needing to plug up all your idle time with worshipping women because your life is empty.
Do guy stuff as a routine, prioritize it and take the utmost pride in it. The red pill insists that, "Women are always trying to take up a man's time and drain the life out of him. Then she will dump him because she changed him into a man she never wanted in the first place."
Pro tip: Women can't drain the life out of a man who actually prioritizes living his life to the fullest as a man regardless of women being in it. Being a man is man thing, not a woman thing.
Women Want Men Who Don't Watch Porn As It's Deeply Tied to Men Having Horrible Social Skills
The above two issues surrounding poor social skills is often the result of men watching porn.
The reason so many men lack social skills these days is because they spend a lot of time watching porn. They spend half their lives watching it to the extent they can't even speak to women in everyday social interactions without acting strange.
A man shouldn't be paranoid and jumpy around women, unable to have any kind of basic interaction with them without freaking out.
Women don't want a man who is in his 20's and can't perform in bed because he's impotent from being addicted to porn. They don't want to "be patient and understanding" with a man in the heat of the moment in waiting for him to be able to sustain an erection using methods he picked up from watching porn.
Women don't want to have to feel like they have to "compete" with women on a screen for intimacy and attention.
I'd began a policy when I started my coaching business that I don't take on men as clients who have an active porn addiction because they simply cannot function normally around women. Women will never be attracted to a man who appears to be having a panic attack in sitting next to a woman in having a simple cup of coffee.
And again, if women don't find any of the above attractive or desirable, women's standards are too high. They're going to die alone. They're too picky.
Can you even wrap your mind around that?
Finding a man who can have a basic conversation with a woman is becoming harder and harder for women each passing day.
Luckily, the men who read this blog and participate in my individualized coaching sessions and online courses definitely get it. They realize that brushing up on their social skills is a must. And many of them are able to find relationships with desirable women who find them very attractive and enjoy their company.
It's not what you think, guys. Women aren't that picky. They just keep running into so many men who are afflicted with all of the above issues that they're being forced to be that much more selective and therefore intolerant of behaviors that rear their ugly heads. And they think:
"God, another one. Another 'nice guy' who's a simp. It's hopeless."
Forget the red pill and their bs about 6 foot, 6 packs, 6 figures. So many women today just want a guy who isn't a dork. That. Is. All.
Love and Many Blessings,
Questions or comments on this column? Have an advice question you'd like answered?
Write me: email@example.com