And make no mistake, it will never work for you. Ever.
I get that we want people to like us. We want them to approve of us. We want them to love us. However, in being thirsty and putting folks on a pedestal, it makes us woefully unattractive to everyone.
I explained it as being akin to feeling cockroaches crawling up my leg. Alana agreed. I think that if people understood the ruinous perception they give off when they pedestalize others, maybe they might think twice before putting anyone else above themselves.
As that's what is essentially occurring here. You don't think you're good enough for that person and likely, you don't feel like you're good enough for anyone.
This is a very unhealthy mindset. You must start going within to discover why this may be posing a problem for you. It's very much an inner-confidence thing and as much as we want to believe it's other people's fault for rejecting us when we act this way, it's solely on us.
Also, people seem to believe that you have to be one or the other in order to be in any type of relationship. You have to be the one pedestalizing or someone else must be pedestalizing you.
That's not how a great relationship works. You're both supposed to focus on rising in power together as a cohesive unit. Where one person fully contributes and the other fully contributes and pretty soon, you're a rock solid team.
Relationships are about teamwork. And you're not being a very good team member when you assume that others should pick up your slack because you don't like yourself. Because it's true, being with a pedestalizer is dead weight to anyone on the receiving end of it. They know you don't like yourself, and boom, they've now realized they don't like you either.
You must develop a much clearer perception on how all this works. Acting like someone's doggy who needs a doggy treat is a no go. So don't bother with it.
Meanwhile, there are over 300 articles on this site to get you in the right mindset so that you may avoid simping and pedestalizing. It doesn't lead to love, it leads to revulsion. And very soon, rejection.
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Love and Many Blessings,
Questions or comments on this column? Have an advice question you'd like answered?
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