I've been endlessly droning on and on about dopamine and how dopamine is a plague of gargantuan and inconceivable proportions on today's dating marketplace.
Virtually all people at all times are looking for solid and promising connections, but dopamine keeps getting in the way. Everyone's been programmed to go the dopamine route where they're seeking instant gratification.
Not only do they readily seek out their own dopamine fixes, they mistakenly believe that giving others a dopamine fix will lead to lasting attraction and connection.
It won't. It doesn't work and it's never going to work.
Luckily, all is not lost nor is it impossible for you to connect with others despite drowning in this dopamine swamp of instant gratification. If anything, short-circuiting people's dopamine today is very easy.
In fact, it's so easy that it's too easy. It's easier now than ever before to get people hooked on you than it's ever been in the entire history of mankind and the world.
The full breadth of my work is based on bypassing dopamine fixes to foster lasting attraction and connection. And no, it does not require being an asshole nor a mentally abusive pain in the rear end (though this does work sparingly).
On the contrary, tripping up someone's dopamine and building sky high attraction requires some very simple boundaries along with the discipline and foresight to go a tad bit deeper and let people's dopamine fall completely by the wayside (remember, this includes your own dopamine too).
Remember, dopamine is the antithesis of all lasting, human connection and will remain so. And it's effortless to short-circuit virtually anyone's dopamine and get them hooked on you.
It's absolutely necessary to bypass dopamine in this dating climate if you want to have any lasting success with the opposite sex.
A few ironclad rules to live by in terms of dopamine and running anti-dopamine game:
- People are NOT going to lose interest and attraction in you not providing them with dopamine fixes. Ever. So get that messy thinking out of your mind entirely this instant.
- ALL people REQUIRE some "roadblocks" aka tension in your interactions with them in order for them to even be attracted to you in any way, shape, or form. Period.
- You are not required to be difficult. You're simply not going to make things too easy for them–where they will inevitably lose attraction because it never gets off the ground. Because easy never builds lasting attraction in the first place.
- And once again, dopamine IS the antithesis of building lasting attraction. Tattoo that on your forehead if you must. Dopamine seeking/delivering behaviors will send you packing. And these people won't look back. You WILL get dusted should you decide to engage in dopamine-fueled pursuits while neglecting other avenues that actually work.
- It isn't going to take long for you at all to build lasting attraction that sticks. In fact, it will happen within a week. Yes, a week. Guaranteed. Trust this entire process and remain committed to taking it strategically step-by-step while acting with unflinching discipline and you can't go wrong. Ever.
So let's get started on my guy's shenanigans in getting a girl hooked on him in a week. Yes, a week is all it takes if you stay committed to doing it right.
My guy met a pretty girl that he's very attracted to. She reciprocated the attraction and everything "should be good to go," right?
Not so fast. Women are notorious for their shit testing and this girl in particular proved very early on to be no exception.
This girl, along with the vast majority of women today in Western society, expect men to be a "I'll do whatever you want, queeen" limp noodle. They expect every single man they deal with romantically on a day-to-day basis to go out of his way to kiss her ass.
The cultural rot of dopamine fixes have programmed these girls to expect that any man will bend to her will at her whims 24/7.
So what does this girl do? Throws out some mediocre shit test female dork harangue (screenshot below):
"WUT are your intentions with me exactly?" Coupled with the usual undertones, "I'm NOT that kind of girl!"
He sent me this screenshot asking me what to do next...
He was right about being honest. You should always be honest, guys. Just be fair and don't be obnoxious about it in your dealings with women.
Side note: Lying often snowballs into simpdom where you wind up having to lie more and more where you look weak and stupid–only to cover up even more lies that make you look weaker and stupider.
In being totally honest with her, he ended up shooting his shot.
He said something along the lines of, "No intentions, hunny. It's not that serious. I think you're cute and we should talk and hang out soon."
Bulls eye. Worked very well for him.
But once again, not so fast here...
He'd made plans to meet up with her where she pulls another shit test rabbit out of her dork hat and says, "Well, I'm inviting a big group of people and therefore you need to invite your own group of people so we can all hang out platonically hunky dory."
If you've been following me and reading my material for any length of time, I have said on numerous occasions that group get-togethers are an absolute NO GO for men, especially in the very beginning. Period. No group outings with women. You are to meet up with women you are interested in one-on-one ONLY.
She backed away a bit when he responded the way he did below:
She didn't reply to that until a day later. Relax guys, you can stand to wait a measly day, can't you? Remember, no dopamine fixes.
"But wait a minute! She backed away! That is NOT cool! She's going to lose interest! I have to dance like a monkey and cave to her bullshite and go along with whatever before I lose her!"
This is WRONG thinking. Dead wrong.
What he did right was instead immediately neutralize her dopamine with that last line, "Nah, I'm going to have to pass. Let's meet up when we can be alone."
In the time you mistakenly believe she's going to lose interest, she isn't losing interest at all. Instead she's recalibrating using OTHER working hormones that build attraction.
She got blindsided by his unwillingness to cave and he took a stand against her dopamine-driven shit tests. And that upped her cortisol and adrenaline aka working hormones.
He stressed her out to the extent that she knows she will have to work harder in sustaining his interest–and she doesn't even realize that she is becoming that much more attracted to him due to these trusty working hormones that neutralize dopamine.
She tangoes with him yet again where she "agrees" to meet up then throws another wrench in their plans:
She tried once again to get him to bend to her will. But this time she was trying to offer him a viable excuse aka some accountability to keep this connection alive and sustain his interest.
He continued to stand his ground and not cave. This is vitally important, guys. You have to wait for things to play out over a period of time. You must refuse to jump while she sits there with her system flooding with cortisol and adrenaline with every strategic roadblock.
Be patient. Believe that it works because it does. Let these people sit there stressed out by you in putting up some simple boundaries. It will work every time without failure. Could be a day or two, but they WILL come back. And they will come back harder and more dialed in than ever.
So a couple days later he messages me after she sat stewing in cortisol and bouts of adrenaline in looking through their previous texts rereading them–while stressing herself out when she predictably began to blow up his phone.
He still let her sit on the texts. He didn't respond right away. He didn't even read them 'til he "got around to it." And when he did get around to reading them, he was very casual, fun and provocative in the interaction. Where she was getting more and more anxious on cue...
And unfortunately, this is bound to happen. Once you see these dynamics play out, these suckers for dopamine instant gratification start acting stupid. Really stupid sometimes too.
I would argue that the more a person joneses for dopamine fixes, the more predictably stupid they're going to act.
And inevitably, you may end up losing attraction for them because not only does their behavior become stinky and awkward, you're seeing this play out in realtime where it's all too easy for you to get these people to dance like a monkey. They don't even put up a fight.
In this brief span of a week, she began sending my guy "qualifying" selfies of her:
"Look at all the things that you like that I now like! Look at my t-shirt featuring your favorite band! Look at what's on the TV right now, your favorite show which I like a lot now too!"
Not even kidding here. Complete dog and pony show where this woman was all over the place trying to qualify herself to him.
He asked me how long it would be before she would be asking for a date. I told him, "Not long now. It's albeit guaranteed that she will be pressing to see you. And soon."
And she did wind up begging for a date when he unfortunately got sick and had to cancel. Meanwhile, she was offering to bring him food and medicine and be his nursemaid:
Insane monkey dance on steroids. Absolute game X1000. Folks, it doesn't get any better than this does it?
And the f*cking cherry on top, her saying "nice dopamine" in him finally giving in a little and giving her the doggy treat dopamine validation she was craving. Can you believe it? Nice dopamine?!? Haha this sh*t belongs in the world record books for ultra-serious game. The truest things really are said in jest, aren't they? lol
As you can see, he made a few strategic moves surrounding boundaries. Boundaries that SHOULD be in place in your interactions with women.
You don't want to do something? Say no to her. And hold your ground.
You don't want to go hang out with a bunch of nudniks you don't know because she's a socially awkward dopamine fiend who wants to run the show with stupid shit tests?
Say NO! That's all you have to do. And proceed to give it a bit of time before you get to watch these people dance like wild monkeys in the street.
Good news is, I have an upcoming online flirting Zoom course that covers all of this and so much more in getting people interested and building lasting attraction.
In the meantime, keep those boundaries firmly in place, be patient, let the working hormones get right to work on these people and watch the magic happen before your very eyes. It can't fail and it will never fail. My guy above is living proof.
Love and Many Blessings,
Questions or comments on this column? Have an advice question you'd like answered?
Write me: firstname.lastname@example.org
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