A reader requested a short but exhaustive list on how to tell if a man is deeply attracted to you and whether or not these signs can be easy enough to spot.
I've always found men showing displays of attraction to be quite interesting because most men are very laid back in general and don't typically behave emotionally on any discernible level in dealing with people.
However, if a man is deeply attracted to you as opposed to being lukewarm in his attraction towards you, it'll be darn near impossible to ignore the signs–rather, he'll make it impossible for you to ignore the signs. He simply won't act like his usual self around you and you can sense it.
A lot of women nowadays may think a man who displays "crazy" attraction towards a woman is a simp. Not so. While simps tend to go overboard in their behavior with any woman they meet who will give them the time of day, even an attractive, high value man will still display some level of angst in his behavior with a woman he's deeply attracted to.
The following is in relation to high value, masculine men so as to differentiate between what a simp does as opposed to what a desirable man will do (and won't).
So let's take a much closer look at what these signs are:
1) He may be insecure to some degree especially when he's unsure if you like him
I've dated my share of high value men since high school and even the most suave, casanova-esque, player type guy will still show signs of insecurity with a woman they really like.
He may try to "like what you like" in terms of your tastes in food, hobbies, favorite pastimes, etc. He will attempt to qualify himself in terms of how your interests relate to his.
For instance, when I initially began dating Reporter Guy (I've mentioned him in passing here and on Instagram several times), he asked me all kinds of probing questions about what "type" of guy I liked/was my preference.
So I joked around with him and said, "190 IQ, tall, devastatingly handsome, strong, silent-type who is built like an adonis, V-shaped, tapered back, looks good in wife-beaters, and has perhaps been on the cover of a few magazines, etc." Then I said, "We all know that doesn't exist out here in the real world so I have to be more realistic, you know?"
He laughed his head off and said, "Well, I definitely have a decent IQ and I'm strong and handsome so I think I'm doing pretty well here."
See? He qualified himself to me and wanted to check all my boxes or as many as he possibly could. And I loved it because it showed he wanted to somehow fit in and match my ideal. It was very flattering to me.
2) He may be cocky, overcompensate with arrogance and be a bit too macho
This is particularly apparent with a man who is masculine and has high testosterone. They may not really know how to express themselves in any other manner except to play up their strengths to the nth degree because these are the qualities concerning themselves they are most confident with–and resonate most with women who have shown to be attracted to him.
If he starts bragging, talking about how great he is at lifting, breaking baseballs, being in charge of 500 people as a C-level exec, what kind of fast, expensive car he drives, he is trying to impress you because he's deeply attracted to you.
It's funny and intriguing when they flex because they really don't have to–their results often speak for themselves. So if you're wondering why a guy is "bragging" about these things to you, it's because he wants you to feel that deep, feminine attraction towards his deep, masculine traits.
3) He will get nervous (and no, this isn't limited to simps either)
I've mentioned before that Elvis Presley blew a gasket or two in Priscilla Presley's presence when they first began dating. He could not stay composed around her and he was acting like nervous, bumbling nincompoop.
We're talking about easily one of the most handsome, most desired, most experienced men in terms of his womanizing–there wasn't a woman on earth that man couldn't have and he still went berserk and haywire for Priscilla Presley.
Scientific studies have shown that men get extremely nervous around women they find very attractive. So if he's fidgeting, can't sit still, can't talk, has sweaty palms, has a nervous twitch about him, he's not marginally attracted to you, his attraction to you is off the charts.
4) He will want to be in close proximity to you much of the time
So you're eating lunch at the college cafeteria or you're walking through the halls of the science building and he sees you.
Next thing you know he's behind you in line buying a soda. Or he's "accidentally" bumping into you outside your classroom door at the auditorium and he has no business being there.
He will show up to wherever you are and will try his damnedest to get your attention. He will talk louder, become more animated, stare hard and act cocky.
Had a really hot guy I worked with years ago (I don't crap where I eat so I never dated him) who suddenly showed up in the break area outside where I went outside to read during lunch and he'd start randomly shooting basketballs.
He clearly wanted to talk to me but I wasn't going to go there with him because again, I don't date people I work with. And soon he started dating another girl in the building and lo and behold, he stopped going outside to shoot basketballs during my lunch break.
He will make it a point to show up where you happen to be because he wants you to notice him and strike up a conversation so he can make a move. And he'll be very obvious about it.
5) He may even be an asshole towards you, especially if he's masculine and really likes you a lot
This one is a bit strange and may not easily be understood by women. Even I didn't understand it myself at first but once you see this kind of thing in action, it's unmistakable. And easy to figure out.
And if you're young and dating a guy who may be in his late teens/early 20's, where his testosterone is overflowing and he's drowning in it, chances are he's going to be an asshole to you if he's really attracted to you.
I worked at a department store when I was young (20) and there were a couple of young, cute kids fresh out of high school who fancied me.
One was an absolute ahole to me at all times for weeks. I tried to ask him questions about our inventory and he shouts, "How tf would I know? Go ask a f*cking supervisor!"
I couldn't believe how rude he was. I was almost in tears. Then I could definitely believe it later when people were telling me he liked me and he'd spend a lot of time talking (gossiping) about me to our co-workers.
Another young guy I worked with there came up to me one day and kicked me in the shins. And again, he too was gossiping about me and going to parties with our co-workers, getting drunk and talking about me.
Again, these were really young guys. So what if a guy is a bit older or even much older?
If he's masculine, he may still be an asshole. A huge one. He'll give you a stone-faced look while at the same time getting lost in you while staring, be short and curt yet all too passionate about something innocuous during a casual conversation, and be defensive towards you for no reason at all.
He may even just get overly excited. Whatever his reaction may be to you in your presence, it will be overblown and exaggerated.
It's important to point out that the less animated and more "laid back" a guy is with you in his presence, it's safe to say, the least he actually likes you and is attracted to you.
If he's deeply attracted to you, his behavior is very difficult to ignore or bypass. He'll make it obvious to you even when he doesn't mean to.
I think this sums up how masculine, high testosterone, high value men can express deep attraction for a woman.
How many times have you witnessed this and how often does it happen to you?
Love and Many Blessings,
Questions or comments on this column? Have an advice question you'd like answered?
Write me: firstname.lastname@example.org
Also, if you haven't stopped by our private, exclusive Reddit relationship group and joined, you definitely should.